Hole in the track, hole in the track. Lookin' like a fool with a hole in your track ... Yes, that was a real pothole that twice red flagged the red-faced Daytona 500 and delayed the race for more than two hours before Jamie "Jabeep" McMurray finally took the checkered flag this past Sunday. I dunno why it took so long to fix the hole though ... All they had to do was put a cone on it and drive around it. Hell, that's how potholes get fixed on my street.
How come the music for pairs figure skating always sounds like somebody died? Is there a rule in skating that says they simply have to be so serious all the time? What would be so wrong with skating to like a Beatles or a KISS medley? Anyway, congratulations to the Chinese pair, husband Zhao Hongbo and wife Shen Xue, who took gold. Afterwards, Zhao said they'd most likely retire now and try something easier like start a family. Whoa, Zhao, not so fast there. You haven't changed a baby after it's done a double Salchow in its diaper yet. That ain't easy, champ.
I'm confused ... Is a Double McTwist 1260 a rad new snowboard halfpipe trick that Shaun White just stomped ... Did I get that right? Stomped? ... on his way to a repeat gold medal? Or is it the latest new menu item at a McDonald's drive-thru? And when a snowboarder just misses finishing a Double McTwist 1260, do the other snowboarders say things to him like ... Dude, you suck. That was so 900, bro.
Sigh ... I miss those old school Winter Olympics back in the Cold War days when, if the Russians had won just 3 medals to this point like they have in Vancouver, I mean, you just knew some Minister of Sport wearing one of those big Russian bear fur hats was gonna get shot about ten minutes after the team got back in the U-S, back in the U-S, back in the USSR. Man, nobody brought the grump to the Olympics like the old CCCP.
Hey, we got the America's Cup back again. That's right, the US and A are kings of the sailing world once more. Sailing. In the ocean. In February. While the Winter Olympics are going on. Meanwhile, we're hip deep into basketball season, a Summer Olympics sport played indoors in the winter. Hello, McFly?
Rest in peace, Nodar Kumaritashvili.
See ya next time.
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Why can't they skate to "Pants on the ground"?
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