The 2009 NFL schedule is out and hey, right on schedule, somebody isn't happy. This time it's the J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets. In particular, it's the greater New York area J-E-W-S, Jews, Jews, Jews who are livid at the league for scheduling back-to-back NYJ home games on the two holiest days of the Jewish year, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. And I'm right there with them too ... I mean, as Jets fans, haven't the Jews suffered enough already ???
Another April, another Green Jacket handed out down in Augusta. Not to Tiger and not to Phil although they made a stirring Sunday run at the Holy Sportcoat. And not to Kenny Perry who, at 48, woulda been the oldest majors champ ever. This time it was Angel Cabrera, the 2007 US Open winner, from Argentina in a playoff under the azaleas. Nicely done, Angel. Now all you gotta do is win a few more of these babies and your fellow Argentinians might put you up there with Diego Maradona and that other soccer guy. No, not that one, the other one. Oh yeah, him too.
And so ends the 30-year bus ride of John Madden, the most famous color man ever in an NFL booth. Madden pioneered the use of the telestrator to describe the action on the field. I just hope NBC gave him one as a retirement gift. You see here how Ginny slices the onions. Boom! And now here comes the minced garlic. Right there. Bang! Minced garlic is made from whole garlic cloves only it's minced, Al. That's why they call it minced garlic. And now for the crushed tomatoes. Wham! You know, Al, it really isn't tomato sauce without tomatoes. And my wife, Ginny, makes it the best. Al, I'd say Ginny has a leg up on this year's All-Madden Kitchen Team. Boom!
More on NFL schedule gripes ... In February, the Baltimore Nevermores complained about playing the Stillers too many times on national tube in prime time. Which loosely translated means ... Could you please stop showing us losing to Pittsburgh in front of so many people ??? Anyway, now the new schedule is out and the Birds are upset because ... May I have the envelope, please ... Because they didn't get enough games on national TV in prime time. Just three of them, an instant recipe for hurt feelings and "disrespeck". Oh and one is against the Steelers. How you like them apples ???
Finally, MLB does something right. Normally, Bud Light and his Keystone Kops can't manage their way out of a wet resin bag. But this year, at long last, on April 15th, everyone wearing a numbered uniform wore Jackie Robinson's retired No. 42 in honor of his historic 1947 Brooklyn Dodgers debut. So if you watched a ballgame that night, it was no use rubbing your eyes or changing the channel. That really was a whole field full of all 42's. In sizes S, M, L, XL, XXL and Prince Fielder. A very impressive sight even if it was just another day at the park for Mariano Rivera.
Rest in peace, Harry Kalas. Listening to a Phillies game will never sound the same again. You were our Vin Scully, Ernie Harwell, Harry Caray, Mel Allen, Red Barber and Jack Buck. I hope you and Whitey Ashburn have good seats up there. And when you tell him the Phils won it all last year, I gotta hunch what he's gonna say ... Hard to believe, Harry.
See ya next time.
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