Wednesday, July 15, 2009

The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 23

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

The Home Run Derby takes way too long. Yeah, it's fun but you could confirm a new Supreme Court justice in less time than it takes to work through all those rounds of big fly launching. One idea to speed things up right off the bat is we could dock each slugger two outs if one of the Little Leaguers in the outfield makes the catch. Three if Luis Castillo catches it.

Here it is July and training camps haven't even opened up yet but Dallas QB Tony Romo is already in post-season form. Turnover Tony put girlfriend Jessica Simpson on waivers the night before her 29th birthday and ruined the party she was planning. I'm sorry but that's a fumble. And no booth review needed either. I don't care if she is batshiat crazy. Unless you got a backup warming up who's 10x hotter, you don't tell a girl like that to clean out her locker and turn in her playbook.

I musta missed the memo but when did this whole mixed martial arts thing go mainstream? Okay, so it's the dead of summer and the sports calendar is pretty much in a coma which might explain why something called the UFC 100 was all the rave last week. But people were going around referring to some of these fighters by last name only ... Lesnar? Mir? ... as if they were household names. Are we really on a one-name basis with guys who beat each other senseless for a living? Man, I was just starting to get familiar with some of the soccer players.

It took eight All-Star Game innings but Tim McCarver finally delivered one of his patented "double explanations" of a brutally simple baseball concept. As Dodger 2B Orlando Hudson was batting, McCarver noted that, on Sunday against the Brewers, the switch hitter had belted two home runs. And then Tim-may kept right on going with this gem ... "Hudson homered from both sides of the plate. One from the left and one from the right." Thanks, Tim, you're the No. 1 best.

Two weeks until football is back. Mmm, pigskin.

See ya next time.
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