Well, here we are two years later and Michael "Pooch Punt" Vick is finally free. His sentence for dog fighting crimes has been served in full so now he's free to rejoin society as a changed man. And what better place to celebrate your first night of freedom than a Virginia Beach strip club with your friend, Allen Iverson. Now to be fair, Vick's lawyer denies the story but even if he was there, I'm sure AI will try to convince Mike it didn't count. I mean, it was just a practice stripper, man. Not a real stripper. Not a real stripper. We talkin' about practice, man. Practice.
Last time out, we wondered if the NFL isn't pushing its massive appeal too far by drowning us in too many pre-season telecasts. Now I'm convinced the league is tempting fate with this week's announcement that the 2010 NFL Draft will stretch from two to three days and ... get this ... The first two rounds will be on Thursday night during prime time. This is cause for concern on several levels. One is there's already too much dead air filled with too many talking bubbleheads as it is. Hell, I wouldn't wish three days of Chris Berman on my worst enemy. Okay, okay, you're right. Yes, I would. Anyway, my biggest concern is there's no way I'll get the remote during "Grey's Anatomy". NFW, NFL.
Wait, hold on. Stop everything. Major controversy. One SEC head football coach somehow inexplicably did not anoint Florida's Tim Tebow as his pre-season choice for first team, all-conference QB and somehow this slight became Breaking News. Fortunately, crack detectives solved the mystery by, um, using the phone to call each school's coach. Steve Spurrier later admitted it was just an oversight and not an insult. Meanwhile, Tebow had already moved on to other important issues like declaring to the hungry press corps that he's still a virgin. Sigh, I give up.
Judging by fan reaction to Manny Ramirez's so-far triumphant return from a 50-game juicy juice sitdown, it's now clearer than ever that if you can perform your chosen athletic specialty .... which in Manny's case means swinging a rounded wooden stick at a small thrown sphere ... well enough that thousands of people are willing to spend their time and some heavy coin to see you do it, well, then you can probably get away with anything short of cannibalism and still thrive in your sport. It's not right and it's not wrong. It just is.
And so it was that Manny strode to the plate on Wednesday night to pinch hit in a tie game with the sacks loaded. Whereupon he blasted a first pitch grand slam into his very own MANNYWOOD section ... And as The Wood Man circled the bases, Dodger Stadium erupted with the wild cheers of delirious LA fans who no doubt were all texting their agents angling for the book and movie rights before Manny had even rounded third. And yeah, maybe I should be cynical about all this but I'd rather dwell on the positive ... You see, my fantasy team traded for Ramirez while he was out and we really needed that 1-1, HR, R, 4 RBI, 1.000 OBP. You da manny, Manny.
During a match this week in LA, a testy David "Footie Spice" Beckham challenged a few hecklers in the stands to come down and settle their mutual misunderstanding on the pitch. When they didn't, Cap'n Bend It tried to climb up there himself but was restrained by several security guards. The MLS league office naturally wasn't too happy with his people skills so they fined him $1000. You know, I think Becks is finally starting to get the hang of this place.
See ya next time.
Posts
I knew there was a reason I pay absolutely no attention to professional sports except for the Noter.
ReplyDeleteI'm still looking for the reason, but Beckham comes very close. Any chance of getting him to come to S. Georgia for a repeat performance? I'm pretty sure I can round up a couple of redneck rec ball soccer coaches to teach him how to really tackle someone.
'Course, he won't be able to play soccer for a while after his education...