Congrats to the Pittsburgh Penguins for winning Lord Stanley's Big Jell-O Mold. The Pens are a testament to perseverance, grit, stamina, heart, pluck, nerve and the incredibly smart strategy of sucking so bad for so many years in a row ... Which got them the high picks they used to draft superduperstars Marc-Andre Fleury, Evgeni Malkin, Sidney Crosby and Jordan Staal. Just like that. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Nicely done, Pens. Hope you're paying attention, Detroit Lions, cause this is how it's done. First you suck, then you draft. Suck then draft. Not the other way around.
Likewise, kudos to the Kobes for winning the NBA title in five games over the overmatched Orlando Magic. What a great story ... At long last, Derek Fisher finally wins a title without Shaq getting all the limelight. It's also Ring No. 10 for Laker coach Phil Jackson and that puts Celtic legend Red Auerbach's nine champeenships in second place and Boston's suicide hotline on full alert. Time now to move on to the NBA's annual summer vacation otherwise known as the WNBA. Expect Click.
Nowadays most managers hate to let a pitcher throw more than 100 pitches in a game. Pitch count is everything. It's the sine qua non of staff management. [Not really. I just wanted to use "sine qua non" in a sentence. Chicks dig the Latin.] Anyway, it got me thinking ... How come teams don't try to find ambidextrous pitchers? I mean, they could throw 200 pitches, right?
In NASCAR news ... Instead of the usual trophy, Kyle Busch was given an original, hand-painted Gibson Les Paul guitar after he won a race in Nashville last weekend. Busch then channelled his inner Pete Townshend by smashing the one-of-a-kind axe right there in victory lane. Maybe next time, NASCAR will encourage Busch to drive his car Keith Moon-style into a hotel swimming pool. Also, note to Nashville ... Next time, give him a prop.
On Thursday, an umpire at a high school baseball game in Iowa ejected the entire crowd of about 100 people for screaming and arguing with him. The whole crowd. Every last one of them. Tossed 'em right outta there. It can't be confirmed yet but eyewitnesses at the game insist that just before the ump lost his cool and threw them all out, a soft whisper could be heard saying ... If you yelled it, he will thumb.
Twenty-one years after leaving UCLA early for NFL fame and fortune, Hall of Fame QB and current FOX Sports color man Troy Aikman finished up his sociology degree and got his diploma during graduation ceremonies at the Westwood campus on Saturday. No truth to the rumor that Troy spent the rest of the day at Kinko's making copies of his resume before going to work the evening shift at Applebee's.
See ya next time.
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can we get umpires in Congress?
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