A Florida high school assistant football coach, who also serves as the school's Youth Crime Watch advisor, was pulled over recently and arrested for coke and weed possession. The coach was also booked for carrying a loaded handgun. Behind the wheel was the school's starting quarterback. He was charged with driving without a license. Good to see that off-season training programs are in full swing in the Sunshine State.
You know that old joke about how come they sterilize the needles used for lethal injection? Well, in that same vein (sorry, couldn't resist), how come they wear white gloves to carry the Stanley Cup out to center ice for the winner's ceremony? You know they're just gonna hand it off to a bunch of sweaty hockey players who haven't shaved in two months, right? Okay, so it's a classy move but it still seems kinda pointless. I mean, you could give Ozzie Guillen a lifetime membership in Toastmasters but you're still gonna need a 7-second delay when he rips into his team.
Egypt beat Italy, 1-0, last Thursday in a Confederations Cup match and that's the first time the Azzurri, the reigning World Cup champs, have ever lost to an African team. Reports from the afterlife indicate Mark Antony has gone into seclusion over the loss and has burned his Italia 06 Coppa del Mondo Campiones cap and the game worn No. 5 Cannavaro jersey he got on eBay. Meanwhile, aides to Cleopatra say she's been doing the "Walk Like An Egyptian" dance in their atrium while taunting him with the "Nah Nah Nah Nah, Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey Hey, Goodbye" song.An Oakland lawyer, Alfred G Rava, filed a gender discrimination class action lawsuit against the A's because he wasn't given a free hat handed out to the first 7,500 ladies in attendance back on Mother's Day in 2004. That's right, he didn't get one of the the pink sun hats given to women in support of breast cancer research so he sued. However, last week the team settled out of court for $510,000. That's right, half a million green for one pink hat. Listen up, A's, here's how you solve this problem ... Next year, offer free mammograms. And if Rava sues to get one, give it to him.
Sometimes my local paper, the Charlotte Observer, gets a little enthusiastic in its coverage of the home team as seen in this quote from its recent review of Madden 10 ... Overall the Panthers are rated an 83 overall as a team, which leads the NFC South. Well, first off, there's the overall problem with using the word "overall" twice overall. But more importantly, there's the silly boast that the video Panthers lead their video division. I know, I know, it's just a meaningless ... Wait, what? Panthers are No. 1? Whoo hoo !!! We're No. 1, baby !!! Suck it, Saints! Boo yeah, Bucs! Forget it, Falcons! PANTHERZ ROOL !!!!!!!!!
See ya next time.
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They use white gloves to bring the Cup to center ice because the tradition is "if you haven't won the Cup, you don't touch the Cup."
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