The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 38

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ..

Hey, I got an idea ... Seeing as how Halloween is coming up soon, let's scare the bejeebers out of the entire city of St Louis, most of the state of Missouri and pretty much the entire flood plain of the upper-middle Mississippi River heartland ... "Pujols in no hurry to talk extension with Cards".

Okay, we're past the quarter pole in the NFL season and one thing is abundantly clear. We are seeing perhaps the worst collection of truly godawful bad pro football teams ever. Seriously, can't anybody here play this game? The Rams, Chiefs, Bucs and Titans are all 0-5 while the Bills, Browns and Raiders are all 1-4. The Dead$kins are awful and my Panthers aren't much better. And then there's the Lions who are 1-4 themselves but at least ended their 0-19 skid. At this pace, Detroit could become the first team to go 4-12 and get the 10th draft pick. Brutal, Juice, brutal.

Speaking of the Browns that be in Cleveland, The Quarterback Formerly Known As Starting, Brady Quinn, has put his house up for sale not so coincidentally after losing his job just days before the NFL trade deadline to Derek "2-for-17" Anderson. You know, I almost feel sorry for The Not So Mighty Quinn. Yeah, he makes a lotta coin but it used to be a lot easier for a holdout backup starting benched quarterback to leave town. In the old days, you just tossed your cleats in the back of your VW and drove off. Now you gotta hire a realtor and get someone to empty the pool plus you need a moving van to haul all your awards and trophies. Well, maybe not a big van for that.

There's really not a whole lot I wanna say about Rush Limbaugh's ill-fated attempt to buy a chunk of the St Louis Rams. Let's just say that Rush is either a genius at self-promotion or completely tone deaf to his ability to create controversy. Yeah, I'm leaning toward genius too. Anyway, he's off the team now because the NFL wants no part of his polarizing persona. I'll tell you though, had he succeeded, his radio show would've been epic. I mean, the Rams are so bad he could've ranted his entire week just about them ...

Monday ... How socialism ruined my offensive line.
Tuesday ... My special teams unit needs a bailout.
Wednesday ... The referees are all liberals.
Thursday ... Never hire a Democrat as head coach.
Friday ... Obama made us lose.

Rest in peace, Capt Lou Albano.

See ya next time.

The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 28

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

This may be heresy but I worry that we fans are risking ovation inflation. When a big league pitcher throws 6 or 7 shutout innings, gives up a few hits, a coupla walks and then has to leave because his pitch count's at 105, that's called doing his job. A standing O, in this case, is standing overkill. We need to save the Big O's for no-hitters, playoff clinchers and the like. Same thing goes for the curtain call. Hitting a home run to make the score 6-2 in the third inning does not merit an applause shower. Save it for the big knocks. Like every other time Albert Pujols is up.

Appalachian State star QB Armanti Edwards is out 2-4 weeks after cutting his foot while mowing his lawn. As a freshman, Edwards led App State to that truly epic upset over Michigan in the Big House and from there went on to help the Mountaineers win their second and third straight Division 1-AA national titles. You know, I think the lesson here is obvious and hopefully, future young players can learn from Edwards' mistake ... Always go to a Division 1-A school. Somebody there will cut your lawn for you.

Tell me again why the NFL season should expand to 18 games? Training camps weren't open a week and already several players have suffered season-ending boo-boos. Everything from shredded knees to exploded tendons. Even with most teams seldom practicing live plays in full pads anymore, they're still dropping like an Aerosmith lead singer. At first, the idea of two more real football games sounds sweet but not if we have to watch a pair of M*A*S*H units going at it. Keep it at 16. Besides, Lions fans have already suffered enough.

More on the Enn Eff Ell ... Mark it down, this season will be like no other the league has ever seen. But I'm not talking on the field. No, we're at the dawn of the Twitter Age. The NFL sets the bar as far as information control is concerned but the Twitter genie is out of the bottle. Just this week, the Chargers fined Antonio Cromartie for tweeting about sucky camp food. But with lotsa players on each team happily twittering away, it won't be long before something really big explodes. You think the Browns might disinfect their locker room a little better now that "I got a staph infection" fits nicely in a tweet. Yeah, I think so too.

Rest in peace, Arena Football League. Nothing lasts forever but you guys lasted exactly 22 years longer than the experts said you would. Next up for the failure roll of honor is the UFL. Have fun, guys. Good luck with your bankruptcy filing.

I'm not sure but I think this is how the Olympic sport of ski jumping got started. Except there was snow. And beer. Lots of beer. Enjoy ...

See ya next time.