The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 12

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

A buncha guys with funny-sounding names who live in Barcelona half the year beat another buncha guys with funny-sounding names who live in Manchester half the year. The score was 2-nil and it was for something called the UEFA Champions League Cup Final which is not to be confused with the UEFA League Cup Champions Final (sponsored by the People's Front of Judea) or the UEFA Cup Champions League Final (sponsored by the Judean People's Front) neither one of which are recognized by FIFA or FAFI or AFIF or IFAF.

Same as last year, Pens-Wings for the Stanley Cup. And same as last year, both teams will play several superb, end-to-end hockey games filled with pinpoint passes, amazing shots, thrilling saves, last-second goals, white knuckle overtimes and one of the sweaty captains finally hoisting the hallowed hardware. And just like last year, it'll all be seen on Channel 206 by about a dozen hosers who still have a month of ice fishing season left, eh.

Objection! Okay, yes, NBC has the first two Stanley Cup games while the next two are on Versus or whatever obscure channel that gets lower ratings than my screensaver aquarium. {Look, it's Nemo!} But Game 1 is this Saturday and Game 2 is on Sunday marking the first time two Finals games will be played on consecutive days since 1955. Why, you ask? Because the Peacock wants no part of weeknight games on the fairly good chance they'll go into OT and interfere with ... wait for it ... Conan O'Brien's debut week on The Tonight Show. Overruled.

Are you telling me that former Memphis hoops coach John Calipari took the Kentucky job just two months before the NCAA charged Memphis with major program violations? And the NCAA will most likely vacate the Tigers 2008 Final Four appearance if found guilty? Not the same John Calipari whose UMass team had to vacate its 1996 Final Four appearance after he bolted for the New Jersey Nets? Nah, that can't be right. Coach Cal wouldn't do that.

You know I love the NFL more than any other sport but nobody and I mean nobody does hypocrisy like the National Football League. You see, Delaware recently legalized sports wagering ... Which the league hates with a passion so of course they're suing to stop it by claiming you need "skill" to bet on football. Right, as if point spreads are a new idea. No, they're not but deciding last week that teams can now sign sponsorship deals with state lotteries is. Sing it with me now ...

Hail to the Redskins
Hail lottery
Knaves on the poor path
Scratch for old DC.

See ya next time.

The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 9

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

Dallas QB Tony Romo tried to qualify for the US Open this week but, just like the Cowboys, he came up just a little short. Speaking of little shorts, Jessica Simpson's favorite signal caller shot even par on the front nine but five bogeys plus a triple bogey on the back nine ended his Tin Cup quest. Although to be fair to Tony, he didn't see that Eagle before it swooped in front of his fairway shot and returned it all the way back to the first tee.

Big ups to my nephew, Justin Weiner, a junior at Delaware whose varsity lightweight 8 crew team took gold at the big Dad Vail Regatta last weekend on (in?) the Schuylkill River in Philadelphia. Dude is 6-1, 155 and ripped like rebar concrete. I'm sure coaching a crew team isn't easy on race days but practices have to be a no-brainer. Okay, guys, today I want you to row til you puke. But we did that yesterday, Coach. Yep, and you're gonna do it again tomorrow too. Let's go, fellas, you were just borrowing that breakfast.

To the Orlando dad who demanded an apology after his 12-year-old son was nudged bumped shoved trampled assaulted by big Celtics F Glen Davis on the Magic sidelines after he sank the buzzer beater that won Game 4 ... Listen up, you and your precious snowflake had coveted courtside seats. When you sit that close to a basketball court, large basketball players will, on occasion, make their presence known. Geez, even trackside NASCAR fans don't whine when they get sprayed with flying car parts. Well, maybe that's a bad example. Actually, I think they might like it.

Former Indy coach Tony Dungy visited Michael "Pooch Punt" Vick in prison last week and then later announced that Michael wants ... wait for it ... yep, you got it ... a second chance in the NFL. Really, Tony, you figured that out all by yourself? I dunno, I'm not a Super Bowl winning coach or a popular motivational speaker and acclaimed best seller author but I kinda figured that Mike's well-publicized bankruptcy court hearings were a pretty good sign the man needs some lotsa coin.

It's no secret I like Mark Cuban, the controversial owner of the Dallas Mavericks. The Association needs more owners with his burning passion and willingness to spend rivers of cash on his team. But many times Cuban's fire has gotten him in trouble ... Like this week when he yelled to Nuggets F Kenyon Martin's mom that her son's a thug. Probably not a good idea, Mark, cause you know that's a media storm just waiting to rain on you ... Whether you were right {cough} K-Mart, coached by Bob Huggins at Cincinnati {cough} or not.

Rest in peace, Chuck Daly.

See ya next time.