The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 32

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

Hats off to Christie Rampone, player-coach and captain of Sky Blue FC, the first champion of the brand new Women's Professional Soccer League. Rampone, who also captains the US national team, led her squad to upset playoff wins over the league's top three teams all on the road and all in just eight days. But when the champagne corks were popped and her giddy teammates noticed she wasn't getting all bubbly with them, that's when Christie had to let them in on her real news. Yep, you got it ... Mrs Rampone is 11 weeks pregnant. Minivan or no minivan, that's a soccer mom.

Michael Vick's line from the Eagles pre-season game against Jacksonville ... Six plays, 4 passes for 19 yards, 1 run for 1 yard. Donovan McNabb's line ... "Putting him in and taking me out disrupts the flow of the offense and hurts our rhythm." Yeah, this is gonna go well.

Carowinds, an amusement park here in Charlotte, announced this week a new roller coaster ride set to debut next summer. Say hello to The Intimidator, a 232-foot-high monster with a top speed of 80 mph. The thrill ride is named after the late great NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Sr and features seven steep drops, one for each of Earnhardt's Winston Cup championships. What they didn't say is they also send out the black No. 3 car right after yours to ride your sorry ass and bump you off the ride if you don't move over and let him pass. Hey, rubbin' is racin'.

No truth to the rumor that Carowinds is also planning a Dale Earnhardt Jr roller coaster that'll be the most popular ride in the entire park but will have no steep drops plus it'll develop engine trouble and whine about its stepmother.

Boy, it's nice to see Isiah Thomas back and causing problems again. Last seen turning the New York Knicks into a bad sitcom, Thomas is now head coach at little Florida International. Seems he thought his Golden Panthers were all set to play Ohio State in the season-opening Coaches vs Cancer Tournament. Thomas even said his team welcomed the tough challenge. Not so fast there, Zeke. Turns out FIU is playing defending champ North Carolina instead so now Isiah is miffed and threatening to stay home. So in other words, when it's for a worthwhile cause, it's okay to get your ass kicked but it's not okay to get it thoroughly abused. Got it, thanks.

Back in May, the Denver Nuggets had a scheduling conflict with the WWE. Game 4 of the Western Conference finals at home against the Lakers was scheduled for the same night as Monday Night Raw. But after a bit of his usual bluster, Vince McMahon packed up and left town. Winner: Nuggets. The Atlanta Dream is a WNBA team looking for its first playoff berth. But they too have a scheduling problem as Sesame Street Live! is booked at Phillips Arena just as the playoffs begin. Guess who has to move this time? That's right, ladies, you do not bump the Muppets. Winner: Elmo.

See ya next time.

The Sports Noter, Version 4, Volume 1, Issue 20

Spurious thoughts and idle musings from the world of sports ...

Cleveland Browns WR Joe Jurevicius missed all of last season after he caught a staph infection in his knee at the team's training facility. Now he's filing suit against the Browns and the doctors who performed the surgery claiming he wasn't told the team's rehab equipment is not always sanitized properly. You'd think Joe wouldn't need to be told this given he probably figured his team's facilities weren't, you know, filthy enough to spread infectious diseases but he might still lose his case ... I mean, it's gonna be tough to convince a Cleveland jury that a Browns receiver can catch anything.

Before the NHL draft last week, the Calgary Flames made a trade with the Florida Panthers. Sent to the Flames was Jay Bouwmeester who in four days would be eligible for unrestricted free agency and could then sign with any NHL team. On his way to Florida is Jordan Leopold who was also on the verge of the very same unrestricted free agency. Calgary also sent a third round pick to Florida. And somehow this trade made sense ... About as much sense as you and me trading phone numbers for Jennifer Aniston and Halle Berry with a four-day deadline to each get a date. Bottom line is even if they got no deal, it's still a better deal elsewhere.

19-year-old Joey Logano drove real fast at this past weekend's NASCAR Sprint Cup race in New Hampshire. And that made him the youngest driver ever to win a top shelf NASCAR race as well as the first teenager who drives better than his parents. Meanwhile, the T-Wolves selected Ricky Rubio, the 18-year-old Spanish Harry Potter of the Hardwood, as their newest T-Pup at last week's NBA Draft. If you add up their ages (37), they're still a combined ten years younger than Chris Chelios and 9 behind Jamie Moyer ... Who probably leaves his turn signal on the whole way home from the ballpark.

From our "It Happens Every Time" department ... Every time the US national soccer team pulls off a major upset like last week's 2-0 stunner over top-ranked Spain, soccer hopefuls renew fond dreams of their beloved sport finally achieving major league status here in the land of pig, horse, hoops and puck. But just like Bullwinkle who never gives up trying to convince Rocky ... "This time, for sure. Presto!" ... We pull a Brazil out of our hat and watch the dream go puff daddy just like all the other ones.

So what's it gonna take for soccer to finally hit the big time here? Well, here it is ... It won't take a win over an El Grande Spain or a second half collapse against a superior team like Brazil. And it won't take a "Just Happy To Be Here!" deep run during next year's World Cup. And ... breathe in deep now ... It won't take an unlikely OMG! WTF! World Cup win either. Nope, even that won't do the trick. Soccer will arrive in the US and A when we win the World Cup and then follow it up four years later with a honk trying to defend it. The minute we fire the coach for not going back-to-back is the minute soccer will become futbol here. That's just how we roll in the Five-Oh.

See ya next time.